Friday, August 3, 2012

Our Distorted Ego as a Protection Tool

Obviously, I write as I begin to understand certain things, receive certain thoughts or even work through things I get until I "get" them. This is one of those posts.

The Ego as our protection. If the ego forms to protect us, then wouldn't it stand to reason that the more trauma, the more our ego feels the need to protect? If that is the case, with extreme trauma, our ego goes into "distortion" mode and actually reverses. It starts to see things with a distorted view. It "perceives" normal things as threats, invoking fear. So when there is tons of "those things" (i.e. the news or lots of negativity) it goes into hyper-drive. It perceives what others see as "normal" as a threat. So it kicks into self-protection mode... extreme fear, extreme "you can't succeed", extreme negativity, extreme everything? Forego the lows & highs.... extreme lows when it goes to one extreme, extreme highs when it is not in protective mode? When we feel "safe", it goes the complete opposite direction? Isn't this what anxiety, depression, bi-polar are? As we dissolve the "protection" features (not the ego itself, but the protection mechanism/need it possesses) and bring it back into alignment with self-acceptance, that we have nothing to fear, that that is self-created, many of those "disorders" also dissipate. Hmmmmm.... 

I have talked to so many (including myself) who suffered from severe "mental" disorders such as overwhelming anxiety, bi-polar, extreme depression.... and through dealing with the demons that we have suppressed all of our years that caused our ego to feel the need to "protect" us (but by having complete distortion it went into crazy hyperdrive) our psychological issues grew from just a little bit of a problem to massively out of control.

As I dealt with the fears associated with my past and worked really hard to stop listening to the distortion of protection the anxiety went away (among many other things). I was severely agoraphobic, unable to leave my apartment to even go to the grocery store, or open the blinds. It was too overwhelming. I was stricken by fear but had no idea why. There was no one thing I feared. Maybe all the years of trauma just finally got the best of my ego and it decided to go into overdrive to protect me? As I worked through the actuality of the traumas, released myself & others from blame, took responsibility, forgave self & others, the need for my ego to protect me started to diminish. And day by day it "quietened down" so that it was no longer dominant, but rather docile, in its existence. It's still there, and it kicks in every time I perceive a threat. The difference is that my perception has completely changed. I don't perceive threats any longer. By coming into perfect alignment, everything is balanced and I no longer have extremes.

A couple of examples:

I have watched those who watch the new incessantly to keep "up to date" on the activities of the world. Those who have severe trauma in their background where issues have not resolved, feed into the hate & discontent, fear-based, conspiracy theories that literally EVERYTHING involves. Now, I am not saying that they are not there, all I am saying is that the "normal" brain hears these things and dismisses them. The distorted mind/ego takes these things and "runs" with them into every "theory" of awfulness that they can create. The pain & anger alone deriving from just watching the news can create the news "junkie" looking for an "emotional" fix but can actually further damage their psyche if it is not in balance. 

I don't watch the news or read the newspaper. This used to be because it was too overwhelming. Now it's just because I choose not to feed into the lower-vibrational thought frequencies that feed this level of consciousness. The more thoughts (energy), the more strength this vibration has. I prefer to connect on a higher consciousness level and contribute to the positive and healing thoughts & mass of consciousness that is working to change/heal the world. 

Question: If mine (and everyone's) thoughts manifest instantly into the mass consciousness and our reality, then what thoughts are being entertained, manifesting as our reality and which mass consciousness are we contributing to on a daily/hourly/daily basis? I am connecting to a much higher level every day as I continue to grow & release all of those old thought patterns that were learned & formed to create the reality that kept me in fear, can't accomplish, not good enough, everyone will hurt or betray you mode.... 

Now I actually have a hard time accessing any of those thought processes except to "study" and learn from as they are no longer a part of my consciousness level. I can look at them and see them, but I don't feel them anymore. I can recognize them, but they no longer own me or control me. It truly is awesome. It does take alot of work to be fully aware 24/7, but eventually IT becomes normal and all of those low-end thoughts that fed our distorted world are released and repalced with peace, love, perfection, honesty, forgiveness and just pure bliss! 

More later.... just thinking with my fingers.... :)

Original Post: 2/14/12

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