The first time I "got" it was after an "experience" of something I had been teaching for years. I believe it was on the awakening process. I had studied and learned and taught those things I had learned to help others in their journey. Then I went through my actual awakening. I still didn't even get it. It wasn't until months later that "boom", that 12x12 (I need something bigger than the virtual 2x4 much of the time) hit me upside the head and "I got it". I had been teaching and never actually understood it on "that level". Intellectually I understood, but on a spiritual level, I had no comprehension what-so-ever.Now that I "got it", I could actually connect on a whole new level to help others (and myself). I no longer needed to go to my intellect. I finally had come to "trust" the intuitive information that I was now able to receive, just by letting go of my need to be in control all of the time. I found that I was not able to connect to my higher consciousness as long as I needed to stay connected to my intellect/ego. Once I let go of that, I could remove myself energetically and connect to my higher consciousness. There, there is no "need" to understand, as it is just "understood". There is no guessing or questioning, there is just "knowing". There is total peace. There is no pain, no hate, no low-end energy at all. It was that guilt, shame, blame, fear that kept me from connecting until then. Once I let go of those low-end feelings & reactions, I was able to access the higher end energies that bring complete perfection.
I listen with my eyes closed much of the time. I "feel" the information that I need to access. When someone is talking, I don't need to look at them, as all of what I need to connect with to comprehend is on a whole different level. My intellectual understanding and my higher self understanding are complete opposites. There is no "who, what, when, where, why" anymore... who doesn't matter, what doesn't matter, when doesn't matter, where doesn't matter, and most importantly why doesn't matter. Everything just is.... and "is" is perfectly enough.
We are raised, taught & educated to "look outside" for the answers. Learn about others, worry about others, it's all about "out there". So many need to impress, "things" materialistic become important over time. Until things override the purity of simplicity. This is not about things. This is not about anyone else. This is not about who cares about who did what one day, or who owns what or what kind of clothes we wear or how our hair looks that day. This is the total opposite.
When I started getting rid of everything that I had coveted in all my years and that others would see as important, I think people started to wonder if I was still sane. I kept getting comments of how they could not believe I was getting rid of something so nice, so materialistic. But on this level, things don't matter. They actually become hindrances. They become obstacles. They weigh us down and get in the way.
Foods went, things went and I began to re-prioritize everything. The well-being of people, the environment, animals, plants matter now. A breeze or the sun now brings a smile to my face, whereas I used to hide from the outside energy. Watching birds fly. Watching people interact. Helping someone else in need. The smallest things now make a moment perfect. Other than physical world needs, life is so much simpler.
Majority of the time, I can see through the "crap" that is projected by others. That used to bother me. I used to look at someone and see "all their stuff". See that fakeness, the fronting. It used to bother me that so many people were not genuine. Now, I use that to delve deep to see what that person truly needs so that I can help them (when they want help). Sometimes they are not ready, and I have to step back and let them fall. This used to be impossible for me to do. I had to save them. Now I understand why and I can do this because it is what THEY need on their journey. Mine is not to save them anymore. It is to give them the tools that I have learned in order to grow when the time is right for them. Some never use them. I had to learn that their "failure" to grow was not my failure to teach. I can give it and it is up to them to do with what they desire. I can't control another. I can only control myself & my actions, and if I really want to look at it on another level, I have no control at all. The more we try to control, the less control we actually have. I don't need control, as I have everything I need when I go to "that place". I now use that energy to do the best for the greater good of all at all times. I now connect on a higher level and ask/see what I am to do. I trust that and do my best to stay true to my own moral values and integrity.
Original Post: 12/25/11
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